How to be a Grondly Grondomania Follower?

Becoming a Grondly Grondomaniac is grondly simple.

You need not be a psychopath (although I cannot say that of some of the present grondomaniacs) to be a maniac – if you get what I am trying to tell you. A grondomaniac is only a person, who, in informal speech & writing, uses the word ‘grond’ and its corresponding corruptions to the maximum extent possible.

To put the above words in Grondlanguage,

“Be grondly grondomaniac by being grondly but not ungrondingly crazy. Grondliness comes out grondingly when used in grondly language, by being very grondly all the time in grondly terms.”

For Example,
Praise: “Wow dude, that’s real grondly!”
Criticism: “How ungrondly!”
Interrogation: “What the grond is that grondly thing?”
Greeting: “Grond!”
Food: “That was so grondilicious that I had two grondfulls!”
Description: “The grond moved across the grondian plain, in a very grondlike manner.”
Movement: “The grond gronded its way to the grondshouse.”

As you keep gronding, you will find more and more gronding examples of grondlanguage gronding towards you. Happy Gronding!

Grond!

Harshal Modi,
GrondMaster

The Grondsian Grond – and its Grondlike Tale - by GrondMaster Harshal

The grond moved across the grondian plain, in a very grondlike manner. It felt unable to describe the plain as anything except grondian – quite grondlike of it, too, as gronds were unable to describe things except as either grondly or ungrondly. “Grond!” it gronded, as it gronded across the grondian plain, plainly showing its grondian dislike to tasks other than grondian tasks – that of opening and closing massive, grondly gates of its master’s castles, or breaking the ungrondly gates of its master’s enemies’ castles.

But the grond had to do this ungrondly task – its grondian future was at stake. And its master had ungrondingly admonished it for its slowing grondliness, and had given it strict, ungrondly orders to improve its grondliness, or it would remove the grond from its grondly duties, and put in the new order of young ungrondly orcs, the furhuns, in its place. And the grond, grondly in fact, did not want this ungrondly deed to happen. So, ungrondingly, the grond found itself grondingly going to the great gronding master and keeper of all orcs, the wickrum orc.

As the grond gronded its way to the wickrum orc’s hideout, its path gronded through its master’s enemy’s very ungrondly kingdom. The grond, in its very grondlike manner, forgot to give any grondslike importance to this ungrondly trifle matter. But the grond had also forgotten that this kingdom was ruled by a trio that had always evaded its master’s invasions, and quite ungrondingly, had not given it the chance to grondly break the ungrondly gates of their castles. This trio was ungrondingly manned by Zaggu, Slila, and Herri, the worst of its master’s enemies. The trio ungrondingly pounced upon the gronding grond, and put it in a very ungronding dungeon, and ungrondingly began its ungrondslike interrogation, in a very ungronding manner.

During this very ungronding interrogation, the grond ungrondingly revealed its gronded fears of the furhun orcs, and the wickrum orc, and the ungronding admonishments of the grond’s master. And so the very ungronding trio learnt about the ungronded gates of the grond’s master’s castles, the new and yet young ungrondly furhuns, and the very grondly wickrum orc. And then Zaggu told Slila and Herri, “Friends, we have learnt a gronding lot of grondly knowledge. Let us put it to grondsly use!” And Slila replied, “Yes, let us grondly do it. We shall see the ungrondly end of our enemy yet!” And Herri said, “Yes, we must grondly hie. For without this grondly grond, our enemy’s grondly gates are ungrondingly unguarded. And this is in our gronding benefit!”

But first, the trio ungrondingly put to rest the very grondly wickrum orc, for it was the gronding master and keeper of all grondingly orcish knowledge. And so all the orcs, gronds, and furhuns found themselves without a gronding master. And they ungrondingly ran helter-skelter, as they were now ungrondsingly brainless. Then, armed with the gronding brains that were ungrondingly better than the unbrained orcs and young ungronded furhuns, they ungrondingly defeated the grond’s master, and rid themselves of all gronding problems they had ever faced after coming to know of the existence of the gronds.

And so the gronding world was rid of the very ungrondly master, and its gronds, furhuns, and wickrums, and all such ungrondly material used for ungrondly deeds against the gronding people all over the grondly world. And this was achieved by the very grondly Zaggu, Slila, and Herri. May they ever be grondlike!


The Gronding End.


I hope you have found the above very grondly. May Grondomania live grondingly forever!

The Grond Song - by HyperGrond Jagdish

by Damien Deathdealer. For the uninitiated, he was the unknown inspiration behind Grondolium Grondsworth's Grondofills...

It was a Phantom of grondly despite
When first it breathed fire.. oh what a grondly sight;
A demonic grond, sent
To be a grond's ornament;
it's triksey eyes as gronds of hellmouth fair,
Like fire, too, its grondly hair;
As all things else about it frown
From winter-time and the cheerless Grondly Dawn.

With hammer in hand, the grond beat the band
Breathing fire, he did desire,
To destroy the grondly door
and be the scourge for ever more.

But one man stood in his grondly way,
an idiot maybe or one somehow, led astray,
But he did stand with his grondly computer at hand,
Who was he, can any one say?

For he was Farhan, the unlikely.
Unlikely it was more than likely,
That the grond, he would slay...
But then again, he did say

"Crap"

As the grond moved closer,
The man did say, as I thought he may...

"Oh Hell, how can this grond, I slay"

And then it happened... from his mouth,
came another grondly shout...

"CRAP"

And this they say, was too much for even a grond to take,
A way back to the hell mouth, did it make.
Saying "Listening to "Crap" once is a grondly site,
But two is twice too much for my might."

And then it is said that the man did say.
Crap is a very grondly way.
And since then, till recent dates,
He continues to "Crap", indeed on all his mates!

Beat that you Grond Wordwrapper!

Grondofills - by The Grond King Salil

a poem by grondolium grondsworth (thats the poet who took grond literature to it's pinnacle for the ignorant and uninformed)

i gronded lonely as a cloud
high on over gronds and hills
when all at once i saw a crowd
a host of golden grondofills
besides the grond beneath the trees
gronding and dancing in the breeze.

gronding as the stars that shine
and twinkle in the grondy way
they stretched in a neverending line
grond thousand saw i at a glance
gronding their heads in a sprightly dance

the gronds besides them danced but they
outdid the gronding gronds with glee
a poet could not be but gay
in such a gronding company
i gazed and gazed but little thought
the grond to me the show had bought

for oft when on my grond i lie
in a vacant or pensive mood
they grond upon that inward eye which is a bliss in solitude
and then my grond with pleasure fills
and dances with the grondofills


(that ought to make william wordsworth grond in his coffin, what say, I say GROND)

GrondoMania - The Definition

GrondoMania is inspired by the “Lord Of The Rings” device, the gate breaking siege weapon, the ‘grond’, and dedicated to my dear friends, Jagdish and Salil, one of whom (I don’t know exactly who) invented grondomania by responding to every query and statement with the enigmatic reply, ‘Grond!’. The usual victims of our grondomanic adventures have been our friends Farhan and Vikram.

In some of our adventures, the ‘grond’ has been given sentient status and has become an orc by itself, not unlike the Uruk-Hai or the trolls. In other adventures, soon to come, it'll become among other things, an AI computer, a flower, a lake, a country, a bird, and many more.... Suggestions are welcome.

But what exactly is Grondomania? It is the harmless practice of using the word 'grond' as an adverb, adjective, noun, verb, or any other part of grammar and speech, so as to effectively 'grondify' ordinary speech.

Grond!
Harshal Modi,
Grondmaster.